1. Worrying about… everything.
Worry is the biggest happiness slayer ever. Worry steals all of your attention and gives the illusion that you are working through a problem when you are not. As Van Wilder said, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”
People worry for all sorts of reasons: to escape reality, fear of the unknown, resistance to change, lack of confidence, etc.
Stopping worry, like everything else takes practice; the more you do it, the better you will become at discerning when you are no longer controlling your thoughts and they are controlling you.
Tip: To jolt yourself out of worry, ask yourself what you can do “right now” to make your life more pleasant and then do that!
2. Constant, deliberate, people-pleasing.
Contrary to what you may think, saying “yes” to every request that is made of you is not nice. First, it is not nice to you because it can leave you emotionally, mentally and physically drained. And second, it is not nice to the other person, because it deceives them into thinking that you have the time, energy and other resources available to make what they want happen, when you do not.
Generally people who carry out the duties of others at the expense of themselves have low self-esteem and high levels of unhappiness. They need the approval of others to make themselves feel worthy.
Tip: To combat people-pleasing behavior, learn to say “no.” Oftentimes when you say “no” to someone else, you are really saying “yes” to YOU.
Procrastination is stagnation. There is no other way to say it. When you procrastinate, nothing good in your life is happening.
We procrastinate for all sorts of reasons. When we are afraid of the outcome, we are unsure how to complete the task and when we just don’t feel like taking action.
And the thing is, we spend more time aggravating ourselves with worry about how long or how difficult the task is going to be rather than just doing it. More often than not, if you just start your task, you will be pleasantly surprised at how easily you are able to accomplish it.
Tip: When you feel yourself getting ready to procrastinate, silently say “stop” to yourself, refocus and begin again by taking calculated action that will lead to the results you desire.