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11 Habits You Need to Give Up to Be Happy

beben-eleben:

1.  Worrying about… everything.

Worry is the biggest happiness slayer ever.  Worry steals all of your attention and gives the illusion that you are working through a problem when you are not.  As Van Wilder said, “Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”

People worry for all sorts of reasons: to escape reality, fear of the unknown, resistance to change, lack of confidence, etc.

Stopping worry, like everything else takes practice; the more you do it, the better you will become at discerning when you are no longer controlling your thoughts and they are controlling you.

Tip:  To jolt yourself out of worry, ask yourself what you can do “right now” to make your life more pleasant and then do that!

2.  Constant, deliberate, people-pleasing.

Contrary to what you may think, saying “yes” to every request that is made of you is not nice.  First, it is not nice to you because it can leave you emotionally, mentally and physically drained.  And second, it is not nice to the other person, because it deceives them into thinking that you have the time, energy and other resources available to make what they want happen, when you do not.

Generally people who carry out the duties of others at the expense of themselves have low self-esteem and high levels of unhappiness.  They need the approval of others to make themselves feel worthy.

Tip:  To combat people-pleasing behavior, learn to say “no.”  Oftentimes when you say “no” to someone else, you are really saying “yes” to YOU.

3.  Procrastinating.

Procrastination is stagnation.  There is no other way to say it.  When you procrastinate, nothing good in your life is happening.

We procrastinate for all sorts of reasons.  When we are afraid of the outcome, we are unsure how to complete the task and when we just don’t feel like taking action.

And the thing is, we spend more time aggravating ourselves with worry about how long or how difficult the task is going to be rather than just doing it.  More often than not, if you just start your task, you will be pleasantly surprised at how easily you are able to accomplish it.

Tip:  When you feel yourself getting ready to procrastinate, silently say “stop” to yourself, refocus and begin again by taking calculated action that will lead to the results you desire. 

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4 Reasons to Hold On a Little Longer

beben-eleben:

1.  You are growing from your struggles.

Life can be a struggle.  It will break you sometimes.  Nobody can protect you from that, and hiding alone in a cave somewhere won’t either, for prolonged solitude will also break you with an endless thirst for connection.  You must dare to love.  You must dare to feel.  It is the reason you are here on earth.

You are here to sacrifice your time and risk your heart.  You are here to be bruised by life.  And when it happens that you are hurt, or betrayed, or rejected, let yourself sit quietly with your eyes closed and remember all the good times you had, and all the sweetness you tasted, and everything you learned.  Tell yourself how amazing it was to live, and then open your eyes and live some more.

To never struggle would be to never have been blessed with life.  It is within the depths of darkness that you discover within you an inextinguishable light, and it is this light that illuminates the way forward.  

2.  Your heart still burns with love.

Adversity is like walking in to a turbulent windstorm.  As you fight to push through it, you not only gain strength, but it tears away from you all but the essential parts of you that cannot be torn.  Once you come out of the storm you see yourself as you really are in raw form, still holding the passions and ideas that move you, and little else.

Ultimately, there is only what you want and what happens.  When you don’t get what you want, there is only grabbing on and holding tight to the passions and ideas that move you.  These are the lusts that matter – the inner love that defines you.  It is this kind of love that drives you forward and even when the going gets tough.  It is this kind of love that should never be dropped.  

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:)

devynjaiden:

qbutch:

missmatie:

peanuhbutta:

This is realllllllllly weird lmao

This is really NORMAL.
Except we never see it-so it is terrifying and uncomfortable when it happens.
(Mostly because people would laugh or be unkind)

I own a sex shop. Once a woman bled on our chair during an interview. She was horrified and felt ashamed because it was in some way unprofessional. We weren’t bothered. We said ‘what better place to work on being ok with your body than at a feminist sex shop?’
Bleeding is normal and dealing with it is one of the most pervasive ways women are complicit in their silence.

Some men bleed too. How would you react to that? For many men who are Trans the act of bleeding is a security threat.

Fuck off with your lolz.

Reblogging again for above commentary ^^^^^

So happy that the above commentor included trans* men. 

Ooops!

(Source: cycleofmisery)

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